Saturday, 31 December 2011
Happy New Year Eve to the world. While i am sure there are millions who are out partying and celebrating this day, there are also who stay home, alone. I am one of those who stayed home alone this year. I can't help but think why? What happened to me. Staying home on these days are so unlike me. That would never happen to me years back. I can grasp the idea and i don't like how it is making me feel. Does it mean i don't have friends anymore. No because i do. Does it mean i am not fun anymore? Maybe because i don't live in the city - but that alone should not stop me from doing what i want to do.
For some reason, today i could not stop thinking, what happened to me in the whole 2011 year. Time flies. It flew soOoooooo fast that i can't believe how much things changed for the last year. I remember what happened excately last year at the same time. I was at a club with my then boyfriend. We have been fighting 2 weeks before and i knew i would see him at the NYE party. I was doing me and he was doing him. While we were both having fun we were talking and things didn't go as planned we ended up fighting. He was so upset he left the party. It was obvious he still cares about me since i was able to ruin his night even on NYE for him to go home. I remember that was my frist time crying in front of my bff. i told her we broke up and i wasn't taking it so well. I remember i ended up looking for him and we made up. However, whatever is not meant to be isn't meant to be because in 2 months later on his Winter break - we decided to break up mutually. I would never forget he said "I want to talk to you about something." I said, "Me too, you want to break up right? I was thinking the same thing, maybe its better for us to be friends" I would never forget he said "I'm so scare i would never find someone who would treat me better than you." I told him, "yeah you're right you probably wouldn't" We continued to be friends until i met a new guy and we stopped talking.
March 2011 - I spent a lot of time finding my life back. I focused on school and work. I was looking for myself. He was finishing up grad school and i was graduating. We still communicated. But i was open to meeting new people.
April 2011 - I was set up by my bff to meet a new guy whom she thought would be prefect for me. (Which is true, he is close to being prefect for me)
May 2011 - i graduated. It was such a great time. I was thinking about my career move. I wanted to do something more than just teach. I am getting to know this new guy. we went on a few dates.
Summer 2011 - I made it offical starting a relationship with my boyfriend. I got a promotion. I was tested many times at work. My friendship with a few coworker was tested. My leadership skills was tested. I was working like a dog. I was under so much pressure to succeed. This summer was when i really started to change. I became more blunt, stonger, individual, etc. I got into my first and hopefully last car accident. It has changed the way I view transportation.
September 2011 - I had plans with a friend and helped each other to the next step in building our career and wealth. I took 3 tests and failed one. And i retake and passed.
October 2011 - Work has been too crazy my health took its toll since i have been putting that last. My body started fighting against me. The lumps in my chest started to hurt, the hives attacked me for a week and my health took its toll. I also turned 22 on this month. My family forgot my birthday and my boyfriend had me celebrate with his family.
November/December : I haven't been thinking about my ex. But recently it has been bringing back old memories when i thought what i did on pervious holidays. I started to see the difference in my lifestyle. I cant help but compare my life now to my life years before and really see how i have changed.
For the year 2012 - i really wish and pray that something good is set aside for me as it is for everyone else. xoxo